Drops of Love

For the past few weeks, the Lord has been speaking to me very personally about the depths, the widths, the heights of His Love for me. These are just some simple truths but which excited me about His love.

I read something recently that evoked a memory from way way back when I was 4. I have very little vivid memories of my toddler days except that when I was chased & bitten by a cat when I was 3; and the investigation episode on who killed my adopted grasshopper. (Yes those who heard the stories should be quite amused.)

So what did I read? I read about the tears of Jesus. About how He wept when He saw Mary weeping at Lazarus' death. (John 11:35) It went on to ask - did He weep because the situation was out of His control? Did He weep because He made a mistake in tarrying? The author's conclusion was a no. He wept simply because He loved them so. Just like when He wept over Jerusalem when they rejected Him. (Luke 19:41) He knew they couldn't understand. He knew they couldn't see into the future. But when He sees us in such deep pain, He feels grieved for us. When we ache, He aches.

That was He let me remember the time when my paternal grandfather passed away. I was 4. I remember my parents rushing me down to his house. I remember alot of people crying. And then I remembered seeing my grandfather who doted on me on his bed. I didn't understand death then. I remembered feeling frightened and running to my mom and kept asking her what was wrong. The adults were all too distressed to answer me. Then I remembered - crying. Not because I understood the death of my grandfather who to me was just sleeping... but because I saw my parents in such deep sorrow. I didn't know how to make them feel better. I tried giving my mom sweets and hugging her but she still cried. That really made my heart ached and I just cried.

Then I remembered the tears my best friends shed for me when I went through the tough periods of my life. I remember the love in their eyes and the helplessness they felt. And they just cried when they saw me so broken.

And all these memories just pointed to my Lord... if my earthly friends ached for me so... how much more my Heavenly Father? At last Thursday's Bible Study, I was just simply happily worshipping the Lord... and then I had my own personal encounter with Him. I saw Him giving me a bunch of my favorite white daisies and a bottle of water with a ribbon tied around it. Really very pretty and I was simply delighted. I wondered about the bottle of water though and immediately the answer came - each and every single drop of my tears here in this beautiful bottle. Psalms 56:8 'You number my wanderings; Put my tears into your bottle; Are they not in Your book?'

I looked at the bottle (which was kinda full since I cried alot) - and felt sad about the number of times I failed to see His love for me. But that's when I felt Him telling me that I missed the whole point. When I did that, I was looking at me again. What He wanted me to know is how MUCH He really really love me. Look at the rain - every single rain drop that falls lingers around the leaves and the flowers... and that's how He wants Himself to linger around me - like the fragrant refreshing rain...

Every morning He showers the morning dew softly, faithfully, unfailingly onto the tender grass that springs forth and the flowers that bloom... and that's how His love comes afresh in us every morning. He wants me to know that with every tear I shed in sorrow, He showers back to me thousand fold more of His beautiful blessing every morning... Psalms 30:5 - "Weeping may endure for a night; but His joy comes every morning." And even more beautiful insight... when Mary anoints Jesus by breaking her alabaster box and the fragrance fills the room... our Jesus anoints us every morning with His own alabaster box... that our hearts may be filled with His songs, His joy, His love through the Holy Spirit... that's where we have unlimited daily access to His fragrance. And when we forget, look at the morning dew... look at the rain drops that lingers around.

This really left me to feel His overflowing love for me in my life. No matter what the situation is, I felt myself covered completely in His love. And I know the challenges, the symptoms around me has got no hold on me. They don't - because the very reason for my existence today is because of Him. Nothing cease to matter. And Pastor Joshua completed this for me by sharing on Friday Bible Study about this vision of someone seeing Jesus weeping when he was worshipping Him. It concluded with Jesus saying with tears, 'Oh how I have waited for this time when you'll come to me.'

For His love surpasses all knowledge but praise God, that He is ever so patient and shows & lead us to Him in His own plan for each one of us.