Conqueror

I am just discharged from the hospital after a week long battle from a relapse of my diarrhea and vomitting bout in June. I had resisted going to the hospital for 2 weeks before succumbing due to my weakened state. The first few days were really bad as I had to go through intensive tests after tests.

But what I'm going to say now is now about the ordeal. It is about Jesus. Just before I was admitted and I was fighting the disease at home, I watched once again a DVD message by Holly Wagner on being the conqueror God made us to be. There are trials we go through here but we endure to witness His victory for us. He goes through the entire battle with us. I went to the hospital and the presence of Jesus was ever so sweet and endearing with me.

I shared that sometimes we are caught up by the cares of the world - the work, the stress, family, friends. But in the hospital, I was surrounded by a thick wall of pain and suffering. It was so thick I could not see. Then the Holy Spirit sang -

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things on earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace...

And over and over again, I focused on Jesus... until the pain (which were still there) became dim. All I could do was to be in the refuge of His arms of shalom. People looking on would think I staring in pain in daze... but I was at that moment grasped firmly in His arms.

I don't know... some things you can pretend they don't exist or you simply cast them aside. But physical pain and suffering is something so gripping it blinds you. But I want to say - even right then, get past the pain, get past the suffering, get past the bad reports, get past the darkness and step into His arms of love. For there is our refuge, our protection, our strength - and peace that surpass the pain.

I found the journey this time filled with His grace and favor. All the tests that require me to take sustances beyond me were halved and the tests all came out clearly which surprised everyone.

And the greatest joy - an elderly lady got saved in the bed opposite me. She said she wanted 3 days in the hospital or she want to die. She said all her children are believers but she's not. I told her - tell Jesus to let you out of the hospital and you will believe in Him. And within 3 hours, the doctors told her she can be discharged. You should see the glow on her face. She said she prayed to Jesus and she will go to church this Sunday with her children. I was so overwhelmed with joy. I just felt so much love for her from the Lord.

Nothing that happened this year can take away the blessings the Lord has so lovingly showered on me. My parents' salvation and a loving partner. This year has been a year of abundance. And I reject the negative reports about my disease. I have renewed life in my intestines for by His stripes I am healed! I believe in His truth, in His promise and in His miracles for me. I take all of it.